“Don’t sabotage your happiness! Don’t delay the pursuit of joy and fulfillment in your life. You Deserve to Be Happy! Countless bestsellers offer insights on achieving happiness and success, yet millions of people buy these books, make resolutions to change, and then, after a few weeks or months, find themselves in the same disheartening state as before, only more dispirited and frustrated. Have you experienced this? Have you ever attempted to increase your earnings, shed those extra pounds, or find happiness, all in vain?
Before we can apply the advice extolled in these books, we must first explore the barriers that hinder our ability to experience happiness. Strangely, many individuals are afraid of happiness, while others sabotage their path to success and happiness because they don’t believe they deserve it; they don’t feel worthy of joy. In most cases, these individuals carry unconscious conflicts from their childhood that have never been resolved. Many remain stuck in a life that is much less than what they deserve. If you find that this description even partially fits you, then this book is for you.
Together, we will uncover the multitude of reasons people undermine their happiness through self-defeating habits, making New Year Resolution every January and giving up already in February. We want to explore together methods to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors. We will explain why people make resolutions and then don’t follow up. Each chapter delves deeply into one facet of this enigma, drawing upon the latest research, and, most importantly, offering practical suggestions and exercises that you can implement to break free from the limitations on your progress and happiness. The resounding message of this book is that you deserve happiness and success, and it is attainable in your life.
Here are some of the major themes found in the book:
Recognizing the Symptoms of Self-Sabotage”
Uncovering Influences from childhood trauma and neglect
The Happiness Plan”
My name is Trafford, and I earned my degree in clinical psychology at the University of Padua in Italy nearly half a century ago. I chose clinical psychology as my profession because I aspired to help people with their problems. I held the fantasy that I could identify each person’s problem, discover the right therapeutic technique for them, and send them on their way cured, whole, and with a newfound outlook on life. However, in my early years of practicing therapy, I learned some pivotal lessons:
Shifting Blame: Most of my patients blamed others for their problems — their spouses, bosses, co-workers, siblings, parents, prior therapists, or virtually anyone except themselves. Therapy helped them look inward, grasp their issues, and resolve their conflicts, but often, progress remained elusive.
Hidden Self-Sabotage: Many patients, seemingly grappling with simple issues such as poor goal-setting skills or a lack of confidence, instead routinely sabotaged their paths to happiness. It puzzled me for years. They would dismiss my suggestions or those of others, persisting in their despair. I discovered that self-sabotage was at the core of their struggles.
These experiences have driven me to write this book. I continue to encounter many individuals who, despite their efforts, struggle to achieve happiness and success. They make progress but then engage in behaviors that impede their journeys, causing setbacks and crushing their dreams of happiness.
Don’t limit your happiness!
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